Confidence is a MUST-HAVE on the list of strengths. Don’t just take my word for it though, consider these facts as reasons why I say this:
- People with low self-confidence earn around $8,000 less a year than people with high confidence.
- According to Indeed, 98% of job workers say they perform better when they feel confident.
- 96% of employees will stay at a company when they feel good about themselves and 94% are happier when confident at work.
- An estimated 70% of high-achievers battle impostor syndrome at some point.
And it’s not just at work where confidence is important. All polls indicate that confidence ranks as the most attractive quality for both men and women. Wow, talk about a sexy way to be attractive without even having to hit the treadmill.
In all seriousness though, I’m actually proof that a lack of confidence is all too common for most professionals. Like many people in business, I APPEAR confident. For example, over the ten years owning my previous company, I was laser-focused on operational knowledge and never learned how to navigate my imposter syndrome (yes, me… I suffer from imposter syndrome too). Not facing this truth earlier ultimately led me to closing the company, and almost the demise of my marriage, my health, and very nearly cost me my life.
Where Does Confidence Come From?
Confidence is dynamic and can fluctuate based on circumstances and experiences. And while building and maintaining confidence involves a combination of things including external support, I believe it starts as an inside job.
The good news is – unlike being born with blue eyes or brown eyes – you are not born confident or not confident. It’s something you can learn and develop. It does mean you have to DO something though – and good news (again) it doesn’t involve only the treadmill. Although living a healthy lifestyle does help increase overall confidence. So, how can you strengthen this muscle? Let me share…
4 Tangible Habits to Build Confidence
There are A TON of options, so for today we’ll focus on these four and hopefully Ashley, esteemed founder of Massachusetts Business Network (MBN), will ask me back to share more (& yes that’s a shameless plug for you to tell her you enjoyed this blog LOL).
#1) Study Greatness
This is one I love, and personally practice often. What does it mean? Well for me, it’s about finding someone I admire, someone that I look up to, some who has behaviors that I want to emulate. It can be someone famous (for example mine are Oprah, Robin Roberts, and Amy Purdy), but it can also equally be someone locally. For example, check out MBN – who do you connect with? Why not reach out and ask them for coffee or to Zoom. The worst they say is no and that’s okay because just trying will help you build confidence.
So once you identify your “greatness” peeps, what do you do next? LITERALLY study them. I mean it…
- If there’s a book they’ve written… read it.
- If there are videos they’ve done… watch them.
- Explore their social media.
- If they’re local or regional… even if you don’t know them… (reminder) ask them to connect and at the very least read and watch everything they put out.
Just remember, you are NOT trying to be THEM… you want to be your authentic self always, but by seeing how those you respect live authentically will help you build YOUR confidence.
#2) Self-Affirmations are NOT Corny
My company’s tagline is coaching done differently which includes “no fluff and no deep-breathing”. I’m not the type of coach known for finding my center or doing visualization exercises (although there is NOTHING wrong with that approach, I have lots of awesome referrals to coaches who are in that practice space).
Given that, I’ve always had a hard time with the idea of saying self-affirmations. I felt silly. However, the more I do it the easier it becomes. I also find when someone famous makes it seem like second nature to them, it helps me realize the power. That’s what happened when Lainey Wilson won the 2023 CMA Award for Female Vocalist of the Year. She got up and among a lot of really humble and wise things shared this amazing message to all the little girls at home.
#3) Commit an Act of Kindness
It may seem odd that building confidence can come from doing something great for someone else, but it’s true. Committing acts of kindness can positively affect self-perception. Doing this allows you to see the goodness you’re capable of and the positive impact you have on others. It can be in more of a volunteer capacity, but it can also be super simple like letting someone go ahead of you in the checkout line or buying a stranger a coffee. Any sincere and helpful act can improve your confidence.
#4) Laugh
When all else fails… yes laugh. It’s scientific – laughter reduces stress, produces endorphins in the brain and can help you feel greater connection to others. All of these helps contribute to greater confidence and overall positivity. Therefore, you can benefit from watching a comedy or being silly with a friend. Let me recommend you check out Ted Lasso if you need belly laughter or one of my other favorites, the hysterical NOLA school teacher – Gregisms (he’s on all the socials, but this link is to his Insta).
This is a contributed blog post by Jill Monson. Jill is the owner of POP!more – confidence coaching, training and speaking done differently – no fluff, no deep-breathing, & no BS. Connect with her on Instagram @jillmonson_popmore or email her at [email protected]. She’s also the Associate Director of Marketing at Chikmedia – IG: @chikmedia_.
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